Life: Sleep...

I just reread my last blog entry, and it's odd to think I'm writing another one at this late hour due to my inability to fall asleep.

I'm really not sure exactly what it is that's left me with a whole week of poor quality sleep. I've been waking up hungry from any number of stupid dreams. This hasn't happened to me often in the last year since I started taking fibre before bed to fill my tummy up. And not just stupid dreams either, but ones that get my heart rate up and the adrenaline flowing. This just makes it even harder to fall asleep again.

One oddity that has me wondering what's really going on in the dusty recesses of my brain is how I can feel so tired all day, and yet when I finally lay in bed I suddenly feel wide awake and ready to come sit at the computer to write a blog or work on the Flames of War proposal for a couple of hours. I lay down and suddenly all the things I would have liked to think about or ponder during my day rush to the front of the stage with a full orchestra and chorus.

I think about running. I think about work. I think about Aerin. I think about what to do in the backcountry this summer. I think about the future. I think about the past. I think I might just go crazy or have some dangerous lapse of attention at work. Sigh...

Aerin tells me I seem to be doing that a lot lately. The sighing that is. My body seems a bit uptight about something, and is forgetting to breath. Maybe I could hold my breath for a bit until I pass out, and then I could wake up in the morning when the alarm clock goes off again...

Something is there. I'm anxious or worried about it. What 'it' is I won't figure out anytime soon probably. I wish it was something simple like the unfulfilled desire to hold Aerin in my arms for a long, long time while the world goes away. But it's probably something to do with the job, running or my apparent inability to sit down and work on my large stack of unfinished minis. Or most likely at this moment my inability to quickly fall into a deep, restful sleep.

Or maybe I just can't wait to see the first episode of the last half of Battlestar Galactica.

Let me know if you have the answer. 42 doesn't seem to be it.